full of it

I don't want to blog anymore because I feel like all I ever do is bitch and moan.

Good things: stayed up until 5 am playing games and laughing. ate an ice cream cone today :) the sun was shining and I was driving with the windows rolled down and the music turned up. I think that zach and I might finally be better. I am done with classes this semester! We had a lesson on God's love in my final class on campus today and here is my deep thought: If God is love, and we fill ourselves up with love, enough to be considered love, That is when we become a God.

Things I want/ am looking forward to: I want to read a lot this summer. I want to learn a lot this summer. I want to practice guitar a lot this summer. I want to exercise a lot this summer and get into better cardio shape. I cannot wait to get started in my job and be really good at it. I plan on being the best and making a ton of money in referral bonuses. I want to find balance this summer- spiritual balance, financial balance, and physical balance. I think I am ready to grow up. (pretty sure I can still have fun if I am grown up)

I just realized that I forgot about a choir performance tonight- but I don't think it was a mandetory one.

what's up: I threatened Bern with reporting him to the IRS, he said he was going to overnight the check either today or tomorrow. If I don't have it by Monday I am calling the government. I don't feel attractive in my short hair anymore, I want my long hair back. I am scared to be friends with Zach, lets be honest, I am pretty sure we both still have feelings for eachother, and not clouding those lines will be difficult. I told josh I think he's attractive and he told me to take a number (d-bag?) I met a boy last night named david and he fessed up to wanting to kiss me. I miss jeremy more than ever. I daydream about coming home and him being here. I want to visit my family pretty intensly. I want to meet my neice and hug EVERYONE!

finals week

Yea, just three more days and my classes will be over. Too bad I am finished right now as it is. There is something about the end of the semester that creates insomnia, and a sense of carelessness.

just keep breathing- echoes my new motto.

apparently when people shove me out of their lives I am supposed to text them all the juicy updates on my love life- because if I don't, then that means i am keeping secrets and being deceptive. Really? He says that I have done a fantastic job of turning his life upside down the last couple months- I'm so proud that I get to take all the credit for his life's stresses. why put all your energy/ thought into me anyways?

Why am I so silly to confide in someone that I don't know that well?

I hate depending on people who are undependable. Its annoying.