wtf?

So Its day two of Zach's camping trip with his guy friends and I think I might die because I miss him. I'm asking myself this question- how am I going to survive an entire summer without him, if I can barely manage 2 days? He comes home tomorrow afternoon, and i am pretty lit up about it.

Tonight from a house on top of a mountain I watched the sun set over the marshy salt lake and the reflection of city lights bounced back. it was nothing short of breath taking.

Today I again realized what I am about to do in 2.5 weeks and I was recharged with excitment for the mission that is mine- dang- life is good. I still don't know how everything is going to work out- all I know is that it will. today the speakers in sacrament kept echoing the same thing- just put your trust in God, he will deliver. I believe it.

secrets as of late

freak. I'm in love with zach. I'm not talking a little side road love. I'm talking a 6 lane northbound highway.
we walk park pathways, stop to watch ducks and kiss under street lamps- play hide and seek at the fountain and stop to listen to the birds at the top of the hill. pretty sure no one has it this good. I'm more in love with zach than I've ever been in love with anyone- he is the rocket to my booster, and the nature of our relationship even sometimes makes me sick, because we are the cutest.
I was going to be moving home on the 2nd of June- but it looks like I will be staying until the 16th because I was unable to sell my lease and I need to finish out my two weeks at work and pick up my last paycheck.
trying to make sense of why I can't be in a relationship with zach while I am at home is probably the most difficult mental challenge that I'm facing
(ps. the reason that I am even available to write this blog is because we took a night apart and he is in moab with his guy friends)
I miss my friend Gabi. I will hang with her soon I am sure.
I just imported like 5 gigs of music onto my itunes...
So my mom is sick, apparently her liver is inflamed and she has mono- and yes it worries me, but its gotten her to stop drinking and she is cutting out the smoking- sometimes I think God just makes her sick so she will obey his commandments- I don't know what this summer is going to offer for her. But I really really just want to live with my mom and figure everything else out after I get there. I got into a somewhat larger fight with my sister Rosie- because Rose thinks that I can't live with mom when she is sick- and is trying to make me live with her and Josh- but then make me feel guilty because they are doing me a favor- suck my big toe. I'd rather take care of mom.
I look forward to : practicing guitar- reading books- laying on the deck to the pool- cuddling with my Tigger Kitty Kat!- Afternoon jogs in Indiana Humidity mmmh!- and chit chatting with President T.

freak life is good right now, so good.