So I'm late getting started, but I blame it on the weather. It hasn't been consistently nice until now.
So I went on my first run of the season this morning and i feel like throwing up- which is a good thing I suppose.
I have a cold which makes everything worse- but I'm glad that I went. And I'm glad that I'm sweaty now. hopefully I can get into it like I have in years of the past. I really don't wanna lose any weight this year because the winter already caused me to do that.
Stress- I'm trying to beat it.
5.07.2011
5.06.2011
CONTROL
I hate being monitored and controlled.
Lemme be a grown up- I promise I can handle it.
I hate the fact that I'm dealing with this, still.
I hate that they won't hear me out after my multiple attempts.
I hate it when forgiveness seems like an option that's been deleted.
I hate it that people who believe in Jesus deny his powers.
I hate that communication can't be done.
Because I'm sure 90% of this is assumption and misunderstanding and 10% of it is the issue, which has been fixed but no body would ever know that because they've created much more issue than there really is.
w.ax.ing crescents. when we're supposed to be waning.
this is stupid. really stupid.
Lemme be a grown up- I promise I can handle it.
I hate the fact that I'm dealing with this, still.
I hate that they won't hear me out after my multiple attempts.
I hate it when forgiveness seems like an option that's been deleted.
I hate it that people who believe in Jesus deny his powers.
I hate that communication can't be done.
Because I'm sure 90% of this is assumption and misunderstanding and 10% of it is the issue, which has been fixed but no body would ever know that because they've created much more issue than there really is.
w.ax.ing crescents. when we're supposed to be waning.
this is stupid. really stupid.
5.04.2011
I read this in the tone of an edgy poetrist...
"Each of us will have our own Fridays—
those days when the universe itself seems shattered
and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces.
We all will experience those broken times
when it seems we can never be put together again.
We will all have our Fridays.
But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—
Sunday will come.
In the darkness of our sorrow,
Sunday will come.
No matter our desperation, no matter our grief,
Sunday will come.
In this life or the next,
Sunday will come."
--Sunday Will Come by Elder Joseph B. Wirhlin
But really it's a prophet of god... HM.
"Each of us will have our own Fridays—
those days when the universe itself seems shattered
and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces.
We all will experience those broken times
when it seems we can never be put together again.
We will all have our Fridays.
But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—
Sunday will come.
In the darkness of our sorrow,
Sunday will come.
No matter our desperation, no matter our grief,
Sunday will come.
In this life or the next,
Sunday will come."
--Sunday Will Come by Elder Joseph B. Wirhlin
But really it's a prophet of god... HM.
sings and things
H.A.P.P.Y.
Things I'm grateful for:
My Job, I have the best boss ever.
My Boyfriend, I honestly have the most wonderful boyfriend ever.
My testimony, I'm so grateful that I know that christ lives and what that really means for me and everyone that I love.
Sunshine- couldn't live with out it.
Friends, I have incredible friends. Genuine, compassionate, thoughtful, caring people that I like to hear what they have to say- because they make sense.
Good Music, the perfect companion for any day.
Progression, I love living forward to the future.
Intellectuals, listening to them enlightens me.
Having my own room for a month, enough said.
Lightheartedness, makes the heavy things seem easier to hold.
Nail polish- It makes normal days feel more sophisticated.
Sisters, There is nothing more guiding than older sisters that have lived through everything you are that you can count on for support and guidance. Big sisters are what keep me right.
And to this I say, it's alright if it storms from time to time. I've got my eye centered and I'm ready to grow closer to my maker in a way that I can better understand others, and love fuller.
G. O.
Things I'm grateful for:
My Job, I have the best boss ever.
My Boyfriend, I honestly have the most wonderful boyfriend ever.
My testimony, I'm so grateful that I know that christ lives and what that really means for me and everyone that I love.
Sunshine- couldn't live with out it.
Friends, I have incredible friends. Genuine, compassionate, thoughtful, caring people that I like to hear what they have to say- because they make sense.
Good Music, the perfect companion for any day.
Progression, I love living forward to the future.
Intellectuals, listening to them enlightens me.
Having my own room for a month, enough said.
Lightheartedness, makes the heavy things seem easier to hold.
Nail polish- It makes normal days feel more sophisticated.
Sisters, There is nothing more guiding than older sisters that have lived through everything you are that you can count on for support and guidance. Big sisters are what keep me right.
And to this I say, it's alright if it storms from time to time. I've got my eye centered and I'm ready to grow closer to my maker in a way that I can better understand others, and love fuller.
G. O.
4.30.2011
the ramblings
New hair style. It's flippy outty with bangs. (growing out a pixie is balls)
I've been thinking feminist thoughts lately. I'm seeing the world objectify women everywhere I turn and I think, why? I'm thinking the reason that this is occurring is because woman allow it. They find power in being sexy. Regardless of their marital status. Sure you want to feel desireable. That's understandable. but the real problem is that when they become addicted to that desire, they lose so much more. Sad. They sacrifice their potentials to become arm candy/ trophy wife.
I've just never seen a guy movie that didn't have scandalous women in it. PA-LEASE! They are all sexxed out and it's just nasty. It encourages me to dress like an Amish person- though I won't but that's what it makes me want to do.
I wish that Satan couldn't turn things that are supposed to be good, powerful, and righteous into garbage. He has a way of doing that with every sacred, beautiful thing. He makes the righteous amazing part misunderstood and then creates a ridiculous replacement that isn't really a replacement at all.
So I've been on a shopping kick- jut because, it's spring, which is shopping season for me. And I just happened to read this verse last night, "AND I KNOW THAT YE DO WALK IN THE PRIDE OF YOUR HEARTS; AND THERE ARE NONE SAVE A FEW ONLY WHO DO NOT LIFT THEMSELVES UP IN THE PRIDE OF THEIR HEARTS, UNTO THE WEARING OF VERY FINE APPAREL, UNTO ENVYING AND STRIFES, AND MALICE, AND PERSECUTIONS, AND ALL MANNER OF INIQUITIES; AND YOUR CHURCHES YEA, EVEN EVERY ONE, HAVE BECOME POLLUTED BECAUSE OF THE PRIDE OF YOUR HEARTS"
Youch!
Good thing I'm a bargain shopper...
Just kiddin!
The truth of the matter is that material appearance is just that- MATERIAL.
Fashion is such a mixture of thoughts for me. I think it's there to express oneself from time to time and just allow that person to be unique in their own special way- but if you're dressing for comparison and for the acceptance of others due to brand or cost- that's when you know it's not necessarily what should be done.
I've been thinking feminist thoughts lately. I'm seeing the world objectify women everywhere I turn and I think, why? I'm thinking the reason that this is occurring is because woman allow it. They find power in being sexy. Regardless of their marital status. Sure you want to feel desireable. That's understandable. but the real problem is that when they become addicted to that desire, they lose so much more. Sad. They sacrifice their potentials to become arm candy/ trophy wife.
I've just never seen a guy movie that didn't have scandalous women in it. PA-LEASE! They are all sexxed out and it's just nasty. It encourages me to dress like an Amish person- though I won't but that's what it makes me want to do.
I wish that Satan couldn't turn things that are supposed to be good, powerful, and righteous into garbage. He has a way of doing that with every sacred, beautiful thing. He makes the righteous amazing part misunderstood and then creates a ridiculous replacement that isn't really a replacement at all.
So I've been on a shopping kick- jut because, it's spring, which is shopping season for me. And I just happened to read this verse last night, "AND I KNOW THAT YE DO WALK IN THE PRIDE OF YOUR HEARTS; AND THERE ARE NONE SAVE A FEW ONLY WHO DO NOT LIFT THEMSELVES UP IN THE PRIDE OF THEIR HEARTS, UNTO THE WEARING OF VERY FINE APPAREL, UNTO ENVYING AND STRIFES, AND MALICE, AND PERSECUTIONS, AND ALL MANNER OF INIQUITIES; AND YOUR CHURCHES YEA, EVEN EVERY ONE, HAVE BECOME POLLUTED BECAUSE OF THE PRIDE OF YOUR HEARTS"
Youch!
Good thing I'm a bargain shopper...
Just kiddin!
The truth of the matter is that material appearance is just that- MATERIAL.
Fashion is such a mixture of thoughts for me. I think it's there to express oneself from time to time and just allow that person to be unique in their own special way- but if you're dressing for comparison and for the acceptance of others due to brand or cost- that's when you know it's not necessarily what should be done.
4.23.2011
Fam Fam and the King of Kings
Today I'm exceedingly grateful to my parents. And how they parent. They love me, unconditionally. And they allow me to fall flat on my face- yet encourage good things and guide me ever so gently in decisions. They allow me to explore and be me- They allow me to decide where I live and who I am friends with and who I date, and all of that. They let me be me, and this is what I love.
One of my friends parents is making them move home for a bit- In the long run I can see how this is going to be a helpful and beneficial thing for this young woman- but I see her pain as she's being pulled from her friends, boyfriend, and life that she's known for the last 2 years.
Today I'm super grateful for the gift of agency. I'm grateful that I get to choose to become, who, where and what I may become. I get to choose how I develop into my potential while creating, with the Lord's help of course, whatever thing he has in mind. I'm grateful to his guidance and my knowledge of his perfect outcomes- I'm grateful that he can see me from the beginning and through the end, especially while I have the blindfold of mortality.
Today I'm grateful for gospel doctrine and for the fact that it is truth. Truth is at the root of every teaching that we learn. I'm grateful that we can learn from the scriptures and through prayer- and also that we can expand our learning to more nontraditional routes- by examining the products of such a wonderful creator we can see elements of his being in their detail. We can see his love- with the amount of care that he placed in his creation.
One of my friends parents is making them move home for a bit- In the long run I can see how this is going to be a helpful and beneficial thing for this young woman- but I see her pain as she's being pulled from her friends, boyfriend, and life that she's known for the last 2 years.
Today I'm super grateful for the gift of agency. I'm grateful that I get to choose to become, who, where and what I may become. I get to choose how I develop into my potential while creating, with the Lord's help of course, whatever thing he has in mind. I'm grateful to his guidance and my knowledge of his perfect outcomes- I'm grateful that he can see me from the beginning and through the end, especially while I have the blindfold of mortality.
Today I'm grateful for gospel doctrine and for the fact that it is truth. Truth is at the root of every teaching that we learn. I'm grateful that we can learn from the scriptures and through prayer- and also that we can expand our learning to more nontraditional routes- by examining the products of such a wonderful creator we can see elements of his being in their detail. We can see his love- with the amount of care that he placed in his creation.
4.15.2011
school's out for the summer
So, I'm pretty excited about school being out for break and being able to work full time. :)
It hasn't set in completely, but it'll be good.
I'm pretty homesick. Debating on taking a weekend trip on the first week of may. I'm going home in June- so I figure I can handle waiting just 6 more weeks.
I think I just need some nature. I just need to see more what God has made, instead of only buildings and structures that man has made. Maybe if I climb to the highest mountain top and look directly up I'll be able to wonder at his magnificence more clearly.
It's spring for sure and the sun has been showing it's face more- which offers hope for a great summer.
I've got a hefty list of things to do this year before NOV. I have my 25 before 25 to complete :)
I haven't really had tons of motivation to blog. I'm not sure why- my words are blocked- which is fine I suppose. It's not like it's a necessity for a person that's written for the last 10 years to be able to write.
I wish people would just calm down, Cuz I'm finally happy. I wish they'd allow it so after all the excitement faded they could see that we were still smiling. I wish the noise would stop so we could hear the heavenly whispers.
deep- all inclusive- nonconditional- eternal- full- forever- intense- real- in your face- excited for- anticipation.
I don't want to be quiet.
It hasn't set in completely, but it'll be good.
I'm pretty homesick. Debating on taking a weekend trip on the first week of may. I'm going home in June- so I figure I can handle waiting just 6 more weeks.
I think I just need some nature. I just need to see more what God has made, instead of only buildings and structures that man has made. Maybe if I climb to the highest mountain top and look directly up I'll be able to wonder at his magnificence more clearly.
It's spring for sure and the sun has been showing it's face more- which offers hope for a great summer.
I've got a hefty list of things to do this year before NOV. I have my 25 before 25 to complete :)
I haven't really had tons of motivation to blog. I'm not sure why- my words are blocked- which is fine I suppose. It's not like it's a necessity for a person that's written for the last 10 years to be able to write.
I wish people would just calm down, Cuz I'm finally happy. I wish they'd allow it so after all the excitement faded they could see that we were still smiling. I wish the noise would stop so we could hear the heavenly whispers.
deep- all inclusive- nonconditional- eternal- full- forever- intense- real- in your face- excited for- anticipation.
I don't want to be quiet.
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