Dealing with it all.

Step one.
Luckily we're only expected to progress at the rate that we can.
Luckily our father in heaven knows our intentions, hearts, and desires so well that he can guide us in our infantile attempts at perfection and charity.
Even though we are these potential wonders- we trip and fall like a baby. Our knees are weak and our attempts at loviing perfectly, aren't perfect at all. We hold grudges, we forget to forgive instead of forgiving and forgetting, and we let our choice of offense stand between us and what we could become.
So we've created this industry of learning how to deal and cope. People have studied the mentality of our being for generations. We trust these sources to tell us what is healthy, what is right, and help us to feel how we need to feel- when the answer is so much closer and cheaper than that.
Step two.
Luckily this Father in heaven knows us well enough to create plans that compensate for our undoubted failures, U turns and lost direction. Not only that, but he created a way to return to the path. A way to let all of our offenses, hurt feelings, and bad choices get the attention and help that they need. So what is this? Our savior, Jesus Christ? Wait... he doesn't just erase sin? TIME OUT! he overcame the world? ... the whole world? All the bad people? All the unknowing failures? All the trips? and even the times when it's so hard to forgive because it HURT SO BAD? ... yea! He lived for us, perfectly. Yea he suffered all our hurts- even the ones where people did things that disrespected us. Even for when we were the ones that were doing the disrespecting. ok- so he loves us this much. He knew we'd trip- he's there to pick us up.
Step three.
Trust him, let him, and have faith to allow all of that to happen.
Step four.
Don't be a grump. Love others. Love him.


...Its really that simple. (We're really that loved and blessed)

Testing...

Do you ever feel like you're being prompted to do something that's completely out of the blue just to see if you'll listen to the prompting?
Well I've had quite a few of those recently. Nothing miraculous has happened because of it. and so I'm doing random whatever stuff. and saying things that I naturally wouldn't because it feels like the right thing to do/ say.
Hopefully whatever comes out of all of this arbitrariness is good for something/ somebody.

My new fascination!

SO... I have a new interest budding. I think I want to cut coupons... right? I wanna be the lady that walks away from the store getting 40 items for 3 dollars.

Maybe I'm friends with too many mom's but it's come to the point that I'm hearing of all of their bragging and I'm thinking, "Hey, why can't that be me?"

Today there was a sale on Diet Coke- YUP!
I've always thought of myself as a thrifter... but there are ladies that are professionals at this and it's extremely impressive. I want that.
So there's a summer project!

First Run

So I'm late getting started, but I blame it on the weather. It hasn't been consistently nice until now.
So I went on my first run of the season this morning and i feel like throwing up- which is a good thing I suppose.
I have a cold which makes everything worse- but I'm glad that I went. And I'm glad that I'm sweaty now. hopefully I can get into it like I have in years of the past. I really don't wanna lose any weight this year because the winter already caused me to do that.
Stress- I'm trying to beat it.

CONTROL

I hate being monitored and controlled.
Lemme be a grown up- I promise I can handle it.
I hate the fact that I'm dealing with this, still.
I hate that they won't hear me out after my multiple attempts.
I hate it when forgiveness seems like an option that's been deleted.
I hate it that people who believe in Jesus deny his powers.

I hate that communication can't be done.
Because I'm sure 90% of this is assumption and misunderstanding and 10% of it is the issue, which has been fixed but no body would ever know that because they've created much more issue than there really is.

w.ax.ing crescents. when we're supposed to be waning.

this is stupid. really stupid.

I read this in the tone of an edgy poetrist...


"Each of us will have our own Fridays—
those days when the universe itself seems shattered
and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces.
We all will experience those broken times
when it seems we can never be put together again.
We will all have our Fridays.
But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—
Sunday will come.
In the darkness of our sorrow,
Sunday will come.
No matter our desperation, no matter our grief,
Sunday will come.
In this life or the next,
Sunday will come."
--Sunday Will Come by Elder Joseph B. Wirhlin

But really it's a prophet of god... HM.

sings and things

H.A.P.P.Y.

Things I'm grateful for:

My Job, I have the best boss ever.
My Boyfriend, I honestly have the most wonderful boyfriend ever.
My testimony, I'm so grateful that I know that christ lives and what that really means for me and everyone that I love.
Sunshine- couldn't live with out it.
Friends, I have incredible friends. Genuine, compassionate, thoughtful, caring people that I like to hear what they have to say- because they make sense.
Good Music, the perfect companion for any day.
Progression, I love living forward to the future.
Intellectuals, listening to them enlightens me.
Having my own room for a month, enough said.
Lightheartedness, makes the heavy things seem easier to hold.
Nail polish- It makes normal days feel more sophisticated.
Sisters, There is nothing more guiding than older sisters that have lived through everything you are that you can count on for support and guidance. Big sisters are what keep me right.


And to this I say, it's alright if it storms from time to time. I've got my eye centered and I'm ready to grow closer to my maker in a way that I can better understand others, and love fuller.

G. O.