5.07.2010

It seems to me that maybe pretty much always means no

I don't even feel like I can express myself- because whatever I write makes me feel more pathetic than how I already feel. I've been playing guitar more than I have in the past- its totally a good thing- I hope I get better at it by the end of the summer. I plan on sleeping until atleast noon tomorrow, and hope to goodness nothing wakes me up before hand.

My knees are actually weak- I honestly can't breath. Physical proof that something shitty is going on in my heart. Love. I freakin' hate love. Because when I produce it there's a fault on the receiving end of things- almost always. and when my receiver is working, my producer quits- why?

you lied- twice. Once about what you want, and once about the fact that you could do that. You've failed. and I am trying to be humble enough not to fight it and try to keep you here. Why can't I just let you walk away- I gotta gotta gotta let you walk away.

I gotta watch you walk away- shut down this heart, shut down these feelings, hopes, and memories.

Tonight was a waste of pretty- lame bonfire- sick bff. home by eleven. good thing I got ready.

2 comments:

  1. Sorry things didn't work out the way you had hoped : (

    But I am GLAD to hear you playing guitar more! It's good to see that because I know how important and how much music is a part of you : )

    ps- I hope I didn't wake you up this morning while I was getting ready... lol.

    ReplyDelete
  2. you didn't. I never hear you! you're a fantastic roomate. love ya!

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.