Alright, stop. collaborate and listen.
hot tubbing with Bryanna was high quality tonight.
My dreams have been all over the place recently. ALL OVER THE PLACE. Usually there is a pattern to how things come together in my dreams but not the last two nights.
Alright, I'll say what I'm actually thinking this time around. This time last year my life changed in a way that I couldn't have imagined- my purpose changed- my focus changed - my direction was turned. The process of transition took time.
"you were blessed by- a different kind of inner view, its all magnafied. The highs will make you fly, the lows make you want to die. I was once there- hanging from that very ledge that you are standing, and I know I know I know- its easier to let go"- missy higgins
who knew that missy higgins could write a song previous to my experience that gave words of comfort. of someone else who knew my perspective- the listener- the gatherer. how was it even possible?
So last summer was successful but not as successful as I would've liked it to be. I think I'll probably take the rest of my life and dedicate it to the spreading of love.
I once was lost but now I'm found- was blind but now I see.
I hope you're still tending the garden that I saw you at last. I hope it's making you smile like you were when I saw you last. I hope you're still pointing people in the right direction up the road. I hope you've pointed yourself in that direction too. I hope you've prepared your heart for what is coming your way.
Please send me light so I can give it to everyone else the way you think they'd hear it.
this year has been different. different than any year that I have ever lived.
the highs and the lows have been dynamic for sure. the stark contrast has caused tissue to scar and perspective to change, widen even.
Understanding has become the object of my attention.
I am not the same woman i was a year ago- did you hear that?
read my past- read my once perspective- judge it. breathe it. eat it.- but don't hold up my past as the present and I'll do the same favor for you.
heart. HEART. hEaRt.
3.02.2011
without a noise, without my pride, I reach out from the inside
In your eyes is one of my all time favorite love ballads.
Its your presence baby, not your presents that I love.
Today I'm grateful- A lot of really amazingly wonderful things happened.
I played guitar for like 2 hours tonight. My fingers say ouch but my heart says yay.
Lately, I've been listening to music and thinking- I can do that. And I want to. And i will. what is it about singing that sets the soul free? it's as if generations are released in in a single vocal exhale.
Its your presence baby, not your presents that I love.
Today I'm grateful- A lot of really amazingly wonderful things happened.
I played guitar for like 2 hours tonight. My fingers say ouch but my heart says yay.
Lately, I've been listening to music and thinking- I can do that. And I want to. And i will. what is it about singing that sets the soul free? it's as if generations are released in in a single vocal exhale.
2.25.2011
shag
Growing out a pixie is a pretty difficult and annoying process. My hair grows kind of slow which makes it pretty frustrating. I haven't gotten my hair cut for about 10 weeks so its gaining a shaggier look... I think in a couple more months I'll be in a good place.
Hoping for a cute A-line eventually. I just can't give up hope.
Hoping for a cute A-line eventually. I just can't give up hope.
2.24.2011
summer, where art thou?
I like it best when I can go outside in a tee shirt and not regret it. Or maybe take naps on the campus lawn. Or go to the pool and get a little sunshine on these pale girl legs.
Dreams of humidity. I love the feeling. Its either when you step off the plane and the air gets thick-or if your driving- once you get to eastern nebraska; so thick that your breath can be shallow without it being a detriment.
Lemme just paint eastern nebraska for you- you can see for miles- green fields- blowing in the wind- the setting sun casts rainbow beams across these plains- there's a sweet smell of country in the air- smells like bottled water and sugar. I love eastern nebraska- its beautiful!
Family- sometimes when I dream, I wake up at home at my moms house- the lofted ceilings and brick walls make it home.
Last summer when I was home my day consisted of this: wake up- read- run- swim- lay out- shower- paint, write, or study- cook- read a book in the hammock til the sun went down- with the buzzing of the hive in a neighboring tree. hang with my family- sleep, wake up- do it all again. It was a solo vacationers paradise.
You could hear the birds sing.
Today I saw two doves sitting on the ledge at work- it was a peaceful moment in a turbulent day.
Ah, sunshine! I miss you!
Dreams of humidity. I love the feeling. Its either when you step off the plane and the air gets thick-or if your driving- once you get to eastern nebraska; so thick that your breath can be shallow without it being a detriment.
Lemme just paint eastern nebraska for you- you can see for miles- green fields- blowing in the wind- the setting sun casts rainbow beams across these plains- there's a sweet smell of country in the air- smells like bottled water and sugar. I love eastern nebraska- its beautiful!
Family- sometimes when I dream, I wake up at home at my moms house- the lofted ceilings and brick walls make it home.
Last summer when I was home my day consisted of this: wake up- read- run- swim- lay out- shower- paint, write, or study- cook- read a book in the hammock til the sun went down- with the buzzing of the hive in a neighboring tree. hang with my family- sleep, wake up- do it all again. It was a solo vacationers paradise.
You could hear the birds sing.
Today I saw two doves sitting on the ledge at work- it was a peaceful moment in a turbulent day.
Ah, sunshine! I miss you!
2.23.2011
opposition or realism?
I have a favorite class this semester- It's the survey of Art History and its taught by Jim Gough. He's kind of an artist with the way he displays the principles that he teaches in class- one thought lies upon another, his words grow into a vine of knowledge- It's inspiring.
Sometimes bad things happen- but its not what happens to you, its how you react that truly defines a person.
I think that we, as children of God, think that because we know things about God that he owes us blessings- or safety from difficulty- or a shield from the storms of life- or something cookie cutterish with a white picket fence- lipstick and an apron. Something that doesn't exist. I wonder how many people fake it?
all I know is I haven't received my lolly pop yet.
Are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind?
You cannot horde what doesn't belong to you- and that's everything.
I'm learning lesson's that I probably should've learned a different way. But in my -stove toucher mentality- it comes to me like this.
I stumble over my past actions and regret many. But I suppose that I wouldn't be learning these things now if I wasn't who I am today. I'm sure I have much more to learn- I'm sure I will make many more mistakes. I can't be too proud to say I won't have to say I'm sorry, and really mean it, too many times to count.
People say- "Live a life without regret." (that's an imperative sentence, a command so to speak) - is it possible to live a life of perfection and to never ever look back and wish you would've done something differently- I'm positive that the previous command is impossible. Something to strive for, I suppose
What shall we expect from one another? Perfection? Its not possible.
Today I learned this: For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so,..., righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness, nor misery, neither good nor bad, Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility.
In gothic cathedrals there honestly is darkness- but its divinely designed to be that way so that you can see and focus on the light that comes through the windows and features truth.
Everything else in the life that we lead is exactly like that.
One cannot be in existence without the other- or it might, but then it looses its appearance.
Sometimes bad things happen- but its not what happens to you, its how you react that truly defines a person.
I think that we, as children of God, think that because we know things about God that he owes us blessings- or safety from difficulty- or a shield from the storms of life- or something cookie cutterish with a white picket fence- lipstick and an apron. Something that doesn't exist. I wonder how many people fake it?
all I know is I haven't received my lolly pop yet.
Are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind?
You cannot horde what doesn't belong to you- and that's everything.
I'm learning lesson's that I probably should've learned a different way. But in my -stove toucher mentality- it comes to me like this.
I stumble over my past actions and regret many. But I suppose that I wouldn't be learning these things now if I wasn't who I am today. I'm sure I have much more to learn- I'm sure I will make many more mistakes. I can't be too proud to say I won't have to say I'm sorry, and really mean it, too many times to count.
People say- "Live a life without regret." (that's an imperative sentence, a command so to speak) - is it possible to live a life of perfection and to never ever look back and wish you would've done something differently- I'm positive that the previous command is impossible. Something to strive for, I suppose
What shall we expect from one another? Perfection? Its not possible.
Today I learned this: For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so,..., righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness, nor misery, neither good nor bad, Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility.
In gothic cathedrals there honestly is darkness- but its divinely designed to be that way so that you can see and focus on the light that comes through the windows and features truth.
Everything else in the life that we lead is exactly like that.
One cannot be in existence without the other- or it might, but then it looses its appearance.
2.22.2011
you're a regular decorated emergency
1) I had an amazing weekend- movies, pizza, shopping, italian food, games, silliness, girl talk, sunshine, driving
2) I picked out my ring- circle cut with leaves- if its nature influenced, you know I LOVE it.
3) My kitchen is spotless- one hour of scrubbing makes a happy Dianna
4) My homework is done- ahhhh!
5) I have amazing friends- so we listen to classic songs from high school all the time- and dance around our living room- you're jealous I know.
6) My job is fantastic- flexible, non stressful, good pay, quiet, good coworkers- could it get better?
7) Secret Codes are bomb- nuff said... footprints in the snow
8) Working on a song- lets do it lets do it let
9) All my laundry is done- best feeling ever
10) I know how I'm going to ask my boyfriend to the girl's choice formal! clever as ever!
11) When the stake president jokingly asked who was going to get engaged this week- my boyfriend made me stand up
12) One of my best friends is pregnant, and I am so excited for her- her baby dances in her tummy- that's the cutest thing ever!
13) I love sales
14) I love doritos
15) I regularly have cravings fcr green beans and special K.
16) My hair is back to natural
17) My boyfriend is smiley- I like that
18) All my friends were ballsy enough to ask their crushes to the formal, and all of their crushes said yes- cutest thing ever, huh?
19) Gabi's ringtone is exciting
20) Watching Newsies! thank you classics!
twenty amazing things- wonderful!
2) I picked out my ring- circle cut with leaves- if its nature influenced, you know I LOVE it.
3) My kitchen is spotless- one hour of scrubbing makes a happy Dianna
4) My homework is done- ahhhh!
5) I have amazing friends- so we listen to classic songs from high school all the time- and dance around our living room- you're jealous I know.
6) My job is fantastic- flexible, non stressful, good pay, quiet, good coworkers- could it get better?
7) Secret Codes are bomb- nuff said... footprints in the snow
8) Working on a song- lets do it lets do it let
9) All my laundry is done- best feeling ever
10) I know how I'm going to ask my boyfriend to the girl's choice formal! clever as ever!
11) When the stake president jokingly asked who was going to get engaged this week- my boyfriend made me stand up
12) One of my best friends is pregnant, and I am so excited for her- her baby dances in her tummy- that's the cutest thing ever!
13) I love sales
14) I love doritos
15) I regularly have cravings fcr green beans and special K.
16) My hair is back to natural
17) My boyfriend is smiley- I like that
18) All my friends were ballsy enough to ask their crushes to the formal, and all of their crushes said yes- cutest thing ever, huh?
19) Gabi's ringtone is exciting
20) Watching Newsies! thank you classics!
twenty amazing things- wonderful!
1.31.2011
full circle
If there's a situation, with three people- I've officially lived each side of the triangle.
Understanding- connecting past with present and gaining the perspective necessary to heal. Its important to put both shoes on- walk for a mile, and then take those off and put on the other pair.
Guidance- Should I ignore it?
Counsel- Who could actually understand?
forgiveness- Necessary. In more than 2 or 3 ways, for more than 2 or 3 people.
Atonement- Use it.
Temptation- has and will be present always. resist it.
Heart- Everybody has one.
Hurt- Everybody lives it.
Resentment- We've each each felt it.
Playing the victim- when you're hurt its hard to see the feelings of others because you are consumed with what you're feeling- its more present, and a lot more natural to feel that than the pains of the hearts of others. We've all done it.
Caution for the future- should there be any?
Healthy- have you considered what would be the healthiest in this situation?
Prayer- Do it.
Humility- get some.
Understanding- connecting past with present and gaining the perspective necessary to heal. Its important to put both shoes on- walk for a mile, and then take those off and put on the other pair.
Guidance- Should I ignore it?
Counsel- Who could actually understand?
forgiveness- Necessary. In more than 2 or 3 ways, for more than 2 or 3 people.
Atonement- Use it.
Temptation- has and will be present always. resist it.
Heart- Everybody has one.
Hurt- Everybody lives it.
Resentment- We've each each felt it.
Playing the victim- when you're hurt its hard to see the feelings of others because you are consumed with what you're feeling- its more present, and a lot more natural to feel that than the pains of the hearts of others. We've all done it.
Caution for the future- should there be any?
Healthy- have you considered what would be the healthiest in this situation?
Prayer- Do it.
Humility- get some.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)